tokidoki

sometimes i go days without looking up anything about Dir en grey. Iv been almost all wek and havnt looked up a single thing (looking at their myspace and Kyos myspace doesnt count!! oh! and neigther do pictures!!) about them. this will count crazy to you, but i do it on purpose. (oh, and listening to Dir en grey CD's doesnt count eigther 0.o) you know why? because i get so excited everytime they are even mentioned i feel like my heart will explode. and im not exagerating. it is so overwhelming sometimes. i love it. but, it sort of scares me that i should be so...passionate that it almost hurts. i dont know. oh yeah, Dir en grey also has this way of making me really depressed. i wish i was them, or one of them. yeah, that makes more sence. and fanfic's to me are like handing a gun to a suicidal person. i need help. but i shant get it!! because i love this screwed up, fake, out-of-reach, fangirl-ish world that i live in! i should name this world something...hmm...well since i named this title tokidoki (incase you do not know, i mean that same as "sometime" in japanese.) i will name it TokiDoki. heehee, toki....my name is Tokki. i never told you incase someone i know see's this and finds out how insane i am. soo...sshhhhh!!!!