everynight

rather, every saturday. when i come to lesleys house, i have to squeeze in enough Dir en grey songs and clips and fanvideos' to get me through the week. my computer doesnt have sound. i dont know why. it is a stupid comuter. also, i have to listen to as many X Japan or hide songs as i can to actually say im a fan and not be fake (i hate fake fans, just like the band or person for the hype or populatrity, i however really want to know why people love hen so much). i am a fan of X Japan. i just a new fan and i started with reading about hide's life, and what atracted (?) was the death, how people can love him that much. i want to know why and i want to love him too! i already explained this. so far Tears made me cry and the begining of Endless Rain "im walking in the rain" ..toshi was speakin english right? i think so, thats whats i heard..i will feel stupid if i find out he wasnt and im just bad hearing. i will blame my awful habit of mixing up japanese and english. kyo. you, kyo. i blame you. i blame you and your songs that have "english version" and "japanese version". hehe, oh! i watched PVor mazohyst of decadence (i love that word..decadence... sounds like decay-dance)....i didnt like it, the first Dir en grey video iv seen and not liked. it made me sick. i dont know why. they have blood and nasty things like 85% of the video's but this....i dont know...obscure is about abortion too and it didnt make me sick (more like kiss kyo..even with that stuff coming out of his mouth)..i dont know...i have to go now. bai. i love you Dir en grey and all authors of good fanfics =)