my hara toshimasa

As you most likely know, tosay is Totchi's birthday. I dont have much time to really post anything because im not aloud to be online school days and they left for a minute, so ill make it quick.

IM BAKING CUPCAKES FOR TOSHIYA TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU, TOTCHI!!
i thought about you all day^^
and i found a possible reason as to why the 2 male only concerts-possibly seeing how many fans they have minus fangirls?
yeah, i found that comment on bleeding-idol.net oh i love that website, oh and livejournal!
find me on LJ!
my username is kyoandsakura its relitivly knew and iv only got chapter one of my fanfic The FINAL kiss. but read it okay?
BYE!! (i love you more verey minute, totchi!!)

fandom

pinkucellphone is my favorite fan thingy on LJ! im not even kidding, i just had to drag myself self away from that page and all thebeautiful fanfics. CATERIS and RHEAKUROKAWA are beatiful writers. RHEAKUROKAWA is my favorite though. she wrote the saddest one about Die. oh my goodness. it made my heart break into pieces, then i read more, and more..and more..the stories are so good!! i remember...when i first became a fan of Dir en grey, oh those days of innocence and meaninglessness haha, i decided to look up kyoxshinya fanfic on google, i found this one story by nekoempress that tears me up wiht jelousy and saddnedd everytime. actually, i lied just now. the forst story was kyoxwaru. i havnt read it since that first time and i tried just now to read it again, but the account has been delted and the author got a different account and wont post the story up..i guess becuase and someone she was writing the story with got into a fight or something. i dont know. but i really miss that story. its 3:08am and i should probably sneak upstairs and try to sleep,,but ya know..i think im just gona keep reading beautiful fanfics untill my heart explodes. i suggest trying to find the one about Die that i mentioned. its by RHEAKUROKAWA-the community its in is pinkucellphone (but nothng will comeup if if you type that, just type any randon DIRU pairing and i garuntee pinkucellphone will be the top of the list) and the story is called In Expectatio. best of luck on not crying.

ohayou gozaimasu!!

okay, sorry for those. this blog wont actually be stupid...things that i wrote while depressed over something. somthing called Kyo!! anywaaayyy, Dir en grey. yeah-my life! i sure hope they come to america soon or im gona rot here! jeez i been on here all night. this happens like evrytime i come to lesleys. jeez. better stop. sooo remeber "neeva sei gubai!"-die-sama lol OR if you wuna be like Die you could say "im a fucking lobster! bitch?" DIE WA KAWAII NO EIGO HANASU!!!!!! i dont even know if thats right..i dont really feel like thinking about it. kanji is lost with me. so, dont even try. soooo---now that its clear in my head that i havnt brushed up on my jpanese in a while..im gona go find some way to study (benkyo! woo i rememberd!!) it.....
I FUCKING LOVE YOU, DIR EN GREY!!!!

good morning again

why the sudden crave for confusion? saddness, but not uncertainty. iv gone wrong in the head. always reaching out for more. grasping empty air. stumbling into the cradle. if i tried once i can escape it. when you close your eyes, does the room still have colors?
softly closing my eyes the tears came, humming your song~making you close be. relive the smiles in your brain befor a last choke of caught breath. suicide set for soon. we walk in the earth without meaning. when all breaks and you go. will i stand with a crumbled heart in my hands? tears dry. glittery mirrors wont be the last thing you see. for the voice that shows lingering pain a way out. i wont let you go.

(from..yesterday? wow, it feels like longer...alot longer...)

good morning, all

why do i only feel alive when hurt inside?
looking through the stained glass-i want you clearly.
for its clear the harsh pain that will sit and wonder.
distorting emotions, you cant shape how you feel.

wish for tears that used to come from a
high pitched voice,
the smile is so forgein on your face. it clashes your eyes.
but it cant be found now.
you and the lost.
its slipping through my fingers.

If i stop breathing-will i still be able to hear you?
"never take these together" like too many pills.
tonight ill breathe the last- and listen


(from earlier this weak)