Saturday, July 11, 2009

"iv listened to Dir en grey longer than yooouuuuu!!!"

does it matter? honestly. who cares. just because you'v known about them longer doesnt make you a bigger or better fan. it also most certainly does not make you a loyal fan. actaully, the fans i meet (online)...the longer they say they'v known them, the more "old diru" savvy they are. the newer fans (2-3 years maybe..), the more open minded they are about the style, weather it be visual, punk or ..now. im not saying one fan is better than another but...you old fans just remind me of old men and women who are like "i just dont like the way things are these days! in MY day..." thats what its like. it is so annoying. now, i wish i did know them longer than i have (about a year, maybe less) but that doesnt mean that i dont know as much about them as the next person. and its not even about that. its about love, not knowledge. im sure there are old fans who love them now, and im sure their are new fans who hate their current style. buy i hate when people call themselves fans and then go and bash about their current style, in music or looks.
on a happier note, i had a dream Kyo hugged me last night. he also had this black and purple visor (yeah like old women hats) and i put it on, staired at it for a while..then took it off. but their was this small table between us and i asked for a hug, and he gave it to me =) it was a really long hug too^^ but i would have been just as happy even with a little hug. im kind of getting depressed over these dreams. its so aweful having him for just a few moments then waking up and realizing it wasnt even true. i hate it. i dont know if i would rather only get to be with him for a little while in my dreams and have to wake up and deal with it, or not have them at all. even though my Kyo dreams are rare (i mostly dream about shinya, and he's been really mad at me the last few dreams..)..it still hurts. i dont know, its just when i wake up it makes everything seem like its not worth being here. maybe its because im having bad day..idk. ja~

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